A Man’s Secret Obsession; What a Woman Needs to Know
When we are extremely interested or continually preoccupied with an individual, a TV show, or a book, we say we are obsessed. An obsession is a psychological condition that often steers one’s motivation.
We all have obsessions. When we are obsessed with something, we cannot get over it. Every woman’s desire is to dominate her man’s mind to become his favorite snack. What women should understand is that men obsess over many things. To become his obsession, first you need to understand all the things that they obsess over repeatedly.
In his book “His Secret Obsession,” James Bauer explains that it is easy for a woman to attract a man but it takes effort to keep the man intrigued. For instance, for a man to be particularly obsessed with a woman, it requires more than physical intimacy, wealth, or even love. Thus, becoming a man’s secret obsession can be quite a daunting task but not impossible.
Ideally, the first move is to identify what the said man secretly obsesses over and make him feel treasured. Most men are secretly charmed by women who can activate their hero instincts, make them feel treasured and can use secret signals to relay their messages (Be Irresistible, 2020).
A woman should understand what drives her man. You can draw him closer by figuring out what he cares for. This realization will make him feel more loved, more cared for and above all it will link your happiness to what drives him. Generally, men rarely express their emotional needs and in most cases, they tend to suffer silently. As a result, the relationship suffers from petty issues and misunderstandings. To better satisfy his secret desires, you need to:
Learn to Massage His Ego
Men have fragile egos that need constant attention and reassurance that they are doing well in a relationship, career, financially and sexually. Constantly hurting a man’s ego can destroy him. A bruised ego equals to a very low esteemed man. Men complain that they do not get affirmations from their wives and this makes them feel useless. So, to boost his ego, repeatedly praise what you love and find attractive about him. The more you affirm him, the more you draw him closer.
In romantic relationships, couples connect more through lovemaking. Men feel more wanted when their partners offer themselves to them willingly. However, a sexual connection cannot happen being romantically connected. Men have a romantic side that they never admit and women have to awaken it.
Men tend to take a while before they can comfortably open up. This is because the society expects men to act strong even when they are in an emotional turmoil. In any relationship, a woman should offer a safe space for her man to express himself freely. When a woman does not listen to her man and be there during his healing, he starts to resent which results to an emotional disconnection.
A Sense of Security
A man’s sense of security goes beyond the understanding that his wife will not leave him. A man wants to feel secure that he does not always have to report to his wife whenever he wants to do something. He desires to feel secure about his sexuality as well as his career.
Show Him Some Respect
In any relationship, love and respect go hand in hand and men want both. However, women find it easier to love than respect their partners. This is because women value love more than respect and assume it applies to men as well. Unlike women, men place respect at the highest rank in a relationship. They value respect more than love.
Give Him His Space
No one wants a clingy partner. Therefore, it is advisable to find a balance between personal space and intimacy. While women value more time with their partners, men on the other hand tend to avoid women who suffocate them emotionally. When a man tells you that he needs time alone, allow him as much as he wants.
Making a Man Feel Irreplaceable
Another secret obsession is the feeling of security especially in relationships where they feel irreplaceable. For instance, a woman can be strong and self-sufficient but still manage to make their male partners feel priceless. One such instance is when a woman expresses her insecurities and shares her secrets, which highlights her dedication and creates a sense of understanding on the man’s side. The vulnerability, truth and transparency triggers a secret obsession in which the man feels closer to the woman and is more aware of her feelings and inner thoughts resulting in confidence.
Activating the Hero Instincts
The hero instinct is a subconscious force present in a being that makes them attracted to people who make them feel heroic. Naturally, many people long for the ability to save situations. Indeed, this feeling appears in a majority of men whose attractions are fueled by heroic admiration.
Some of the ways a woman can trigger a man’s hero instincts is by asking him to help, for example, in changing the light bulb, showing appreciation for his hard work, encouraging him to pursue his goals and by showing him support especially around his peers.
Activating the hero instincts of a man reinforces his masculinity and sense of value.
The Secret Signals as a Secret Obsession
Sometimes sparking the romance you long for takes only a sweet phrase, a kind and thoughtful gesture or even just a flirtatious message. When these signals are from his secret obsession, a man gets the trigger to respond. The glimpse phrase, a damsel in distress signal, and the fascination are some of the popular secret signals that men often respond to (Docarzt, 2020).
The glimpse phrase gives the man a “sneak peek” of how a future with you would look like. The damsel in distress sign signals taps into a man’s protective conscience. The fascination signal makes a man intrigued and they develop a deep emotional attachment to you. Other secret signals include, the X-Ray question, the “I Owe You” signal and the silent action signals.
A woman who understands a man’s primal instincts can be able to unearth his secret obsessions. She has the power to trigger the secret obsessions and the man cannot resist. Through the hero instincts, secret signals, and the feeling of being irreplaceable, the man instinctively notices her and develops an obsession with deep emotional bonds.